Brody's Scribbles... Stanford University Student Speaks Out On 'Day Of Silence'

Stanford University Campus  Photo By The Stanford Daily

By Sam King (Palo Alto, California) Apr 16 | Friday is the Day of Silence, which shows the importance of voice. Participating lets me think about the significance of communication, what it means to be denied a voice, and what the role of an ally is.

At one level, being silent on the Day of Silence is an act of solidarity, but the day’s significance comes from teaching participants about voice. At my high school, the Gay Straight Alliance passed out note pads. They weren’t speaking, but they still had a voice. This diminishes the event because voice is important. I am a debater, so my voice is my most powerful weapon. The Day of Silence is about people who are denied that ability to communicate: people without a voice. I am in constant communication. When I am silent, people wonder and ask. In this sense, I am in a position that the true victims of silencing are not in. My community gives me every opportunity to speak. My silence is voluntary.

For many LGBTQ people, silence is forced on them. There are laws, such as the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, that force LGBTQ people to remain silent about their identities. Social norms silence: speaking can mean loss of employment or physical harm. More insidious is the fear. Because heterosexism is ingrained into our culture, even spaces that are safe (where people will not face discrimination for self-expression) are not open because there is a chance that the space isn’t safe. Even if the chance is small, if that chance is always present, it is easy to fall into the habit of self-censorship.

Thinking about voice helps me make connections with other groups. LGBTQ people are not the only people that have been silenced. I read Speak, a book about a rape survivor who was silenced. The same psychology of the character in Speak is present in other silenced groups.

During the Day of Silence, that same psychology is present in me. At the lunch table, with my roommate, or in any other situation, I want to talk, but there is a barrier. I bite my tongue, and I disengage myself from my surroundings. In my class sections, my peers participate, and I want to voice my ideas, but all I can do is bite my tongue and disengage from academics. That was the most significant thing that the Day of Silence has shown me: the immediate psychological effect of being denied self-expression. For me, speaking is organic. During the Day of Silence, I think through everything that I want to say and consciously silence myself, becoming an observer rather than participant in my own life.

The chance to observe makes me realize the importance of allies. When people ask why I am silent, I rely on my roommate or the LGBT-CRC’s shirt to volunteer an explanation. The principle applies to allies: some LGBTQ people (and, as I said earlier, other groups) are silenced, and they need allies and community organizations to speak for them. One role of an ally is to help those who cannot help themselves.

Not everyone participates in the Day of Silence, and not everyone should participate in it. A counselor should not be silent because their silence would harm others. The Day of Silence is a student movement. It is a way for students to learn about the value of communication, the people that can’t communicate, and the ways to help. I do not speak during the Day of Silence to remind myself that it is necessary for allies to speak out every day.

Sam King is a junior & the co-chairperson of the Stanford University Queer-Straight Alliance.