Brody's Scribbles... Focus on the Family: You Make Us Look Stupid, Stop Lying!

By Kathy Baldock (Reno, Nevada) MAR 1 | My team is looking stupid. I’d like to think I live my life with genuine concern and grace towards others. Then, some person or group that wears the same team jersey comes along and treats people badly, messing up all the traction. Christians can be amongst the kindest, most loving, giving and forgiving people and then, well, you know. We can also be the meanest, most hateful people when we think that you have it wrong and we have it right.

I accept differences in theology quite well. My goodness, who agrees with everything another says or thinks? What I do not like, at all, is when lies and manipulations are piled upon theology as if they too were part of the “truth package” direct from God. I did a post last week about the new program from Focus on the Family called “Day of Dialogue” challenging the true intent of that Jesus-loves-you-and-me-let’s-talk-about-it action. “Day of Dialogue” is a thinly veiled anti-GLBT youth program. Give it a read.

I was one of those Moms who listened to James Dobson’s Focus on the Family (FOTF) most days while I raised my kids, now 23 and 25 years old. I enjoyed the interviews with authors and speakers; “Whit’s End” thoroughly entertained me. Somewhere along this twenty year journey that FOTF and I started together, FOTF has strayed from the psychological, theological, family focus. FOTF wandered on over to the path so many Christian conservative “family” groups detoured to since the 1990’s.

Expressing theological views is solidly fine with me; I do it, but being deceitful and manipulative about GLBT people, any group of people is not family, ethical or Jesus values. We Christians, after all, are supposed to be the ones that act like Jesus.

FOTF has a document on their website called “Parents Beware” written by FOTF Family Education Analyst, Candi Cushman and originally published in Citizens Link in July 2010. Ms. Cushman is the spokesperson behind “Day of Dialogue” and TrueTolerance.org , so it is important to know what she writes offline of the cheery, hip “Day Of Dialogue” website. It is also interesting to read what FOTF is telling Christian families about GLBT youth, adults and their advocates in other parts of the website.

Here are some points Ms. Cushman makes in “Parents Beware” which are entirely misleading or outright lies:

GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) (my linking) is “a national homosexual-activist group dedicated to promoting homosexuality to public school kids all the way down to the kindergarten level.” GLSEN’s mission statement actually is: “to create safe school for all students and to respect and accept all people regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity or expression.” Not the same thing, Ms. Cushman.

• Ms. Cushman, for FOTF, Citizen Link and the Alliance for Defense Fund says that “targeting schools has been a high priority of homosexual activist groups. It is not even something they’ve tried to hide—‘we recognize that the schools are ground zero in our efforts’ proclaims site PFLAG (Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbian and Gays).” Not quite, again. Try looking at the whole sentence in the PFLAG mission statement: “We recognize that the schools are ground zero in our efforts to stop homophobia in the classroom and create a safe learning environment for all students.” Not the same thing, Ms. Cushman. Again.
• Red flags to watch for, we are told: “ ‘anti-bullying’ policies that list special protections for ‘sexual orientation’ or ‘gender identity’ ”. Wow, that is a red flag?
• “Avoid creating special categories for protection.” and, “Counter bad policy by offering an effective and legally sound alternative like the model anti-bullying policy developed by the Alliance Defense Fund”, which does not specify any one group because “we can unite around the teachings of our Founding Fathers—in particular, the principle that all men are created equal and that they are endowed with unalienable rights.”Sounds excellent, patriotic and principled but, “all men are created equal” is part of the Declaration of Independence (our independence from England) and then the Founding Fathers came up with a Constitution with ten items listed in the Bill of Rights. That was not complete enough for a growing nation and we added seventeen more amendments to the original ten from the Founding Fathers.If we had stuck with the Founding Father’s Top Ten List and not added more, we would still be discriminating against people of: race, gender, nation of origin, age and those with disabilities. As years goes by, sometimes, you just need to spell it out. Public schools are government funded and they follow civil laws. If you only want your kids to sit next to kids in your club, then send them to a private, no public funds school or homeschool them ( by the way, I homeschooled my children for six years).
• “Iowa passed a homosexual-themed ‘anti-bullying’ law in 2007. . . . [with] training courses for teachers with titles like ‘How to Make My Classroom Safe for LGBT Students’. They feature the movie Brokeback Mountain.” Yes, training given to teachers in our past and present helped schools become more safe and inclusive of students not in the majority. Black students, students with disabilities, Muslim students. We grow ,expand and learn. That is what educated people and societies do. And, no on the featuring of the movie Brokeback. Sorry, not on the list of movie selections. Sounds great, is quite incendiary, but, not true.

This is just a glimpse into the twisting and misrepresentations presented by this one FOTF document, “Parents Beware”. Again, I don’t struggle with differing theological points of view, but we Christians should not be lying and twisting words to support those positions. I am writing a series on the horribly deceitful tract by Dr. Paul Cameron which is still widely quoted and used by conservative family groups/pastors entitled, “Medical Consequences of What Homosexuals Do”. It is embarrassing to see what some Christian conservatives have passed around as “fact”. In turn, it has been been used as a weapon against other of God’s creation.

Many conservative “family” groups, authors, speakers and preachers are speaking out more vocally and dishonestly about the GLBT community. As GLBT people are posed to gain civil rights, those “family” groups are digging in for the final battle and becoming more vitriolic. Their speech and publications have a few commonalities:

• They tell us how horrible GLBT people are and what a dark threat they are to society; they use lots of fear words and phrases.
• They focus on the sex part of homosexual; gay/trans folks are not people, they are people who have sex.
• They twist and take GLBT advocate and ally words out of context and build them into a fear context.
• They use outdated, non-scientific, non-representative, out of context studies that would not pass Grade School Science Fair qualifications. And, when you use these tasty “facts”, make sure to give it a lofty footnotes. Then, others will cite the same too until it becomes the “truth”. (HUGE problem)
• Make sure you can tie the actions of homosexuals to the demise of heterosexual marriage.
• And the one, no-fail, must-not-miss point that must be included is the detriment that homosexuals are to children.
• Finally, tie it all up in a Jesus-blood-soaked bow so that we all know you are being loving and compassionate and doing this all for Him, for His glory and the protection of His Kingdom and Heaven. The Him Who said “all” but apparently did not really mean it.

If you are a supporter of Focus on the Family and are opposed to actions like targeting GLBT youth with “Day of Dialogue” or withholding protections of GLBT youth (as in their stance on “anti-bullying”, then voice your concerns to FOTF (Email: help@FocusontheFamily.com). Tell them they need to stay out of civil protections of GLBT youth in our public schools. It is bad enough that they will encourage alienation of GLBT youth in Christian environments.

I have thousands of conversations/exchanges each year with Christian people so damaged by the Christian church. 

There is a different reading of the verses in Scripture that many Christians hold as valid and more loving. And, those of us who have differing interpretations of translations and revelations of these verses , are growing in number, we “heretics.” Many of us are straight Christians who know we have been fed a very bitter, money-motivated, agenda-fueled pill since the 1990′s. We are focused on the overarching message of love and mercy for all. And do not discount us as “too much grace” Christians (as if there can ever be such a thing?). I can argue most people under the table on these verses; I am not without solid theology. I have been a believer and follower of Jesus for almost thirty years. I am not willing to see my belief system hijacked by humans with fears and agendas.

Correction needs to come from within the church as we police our own. If you lie about people we love, people God loves, expect many of us to oppose it. Vocally. Publically. You make us look stupid and hateful. This is having a huge effect not only on those GLBT people excluded from our churches and organizations, but, also on the friends, families and allies who love them. People are catching on to the lies. We are developing relationships with GLBT people and see them for the people they are. Not the abominations and broken folks you want us to see.

Don’t lie. Number Nine: “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.” Not many ways to interpret that one.

Are you listening Ms. Cushman and Focus on the Family? Stop lying. Lying is not a family value. And, Jesus is not good with it either. So, stop it.