Brody's Scribbles... Florida's "Pubic Enemy:" Woman Crashes Car While Shaving Her Privates

By Brody Levesque (Washington DC) Mar 11 | There are times that I absolutely love my career choice only because I get to read and watch some of the funniest stories that expose the trials, tribulations, and foibles of my fellow human beings. Today, this story from ABCNews had me laughing to the point of tears although as a responsible mature adult I should have probably not reacted that way.

It seems that a woman, driving south along the highway that connects Key West with mainland Florida, crashed her car into a SUV because she was distracted while driving:

Internet punsters are celebrating Megan Barnes as Florida's "Pubic Enemy," others are chattering about her "razor sharp focus." 

The 37-year-old Barnes catapulted to instant fame for an alleged multi-tasking mash-up that earned the bottle-blonde's mug shot a spot on hundreds of Web sites.

According to a startled Florida Highway Patrol trooper, Barnes was shaving her bikini area while driving south on the famed Overseas Highway when she crashed into the rear of an SUV March 2. 

In the police report obtained by ABCNews, the trim job was apparently essential because the arresting officer, trooper Gary Dunick, said the Indiana native told him she was heading to Key West visit her boyfriend.

"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Dunick told the Key West Citizen.

It gets weirder. In order to pay full attention to her sensitive regions, police say Barnes enlisted her ex-husband, Charles Judy, who was riding shotgun, to hold the wheel. Yes, her ex-husband.

So, let me get this right folks... Moron A is shaving her pubes while Moron B is driving the car?

ABCNews correspondent MATT GUTMAN continues:

Their tag-team driving went awry when an SUV driving in front of them slowed to turn. Barnes' 1995 Thunderbird smashed into it. Two of the SUV's passengers suffered minor injuries, police say. Barnes shouldn't have been driving that Thunderbird, since she had been convicted the previous day for driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license. According to the arrest report, it was the sixth time her license had been suspended.

After the accident, Barnes and Judy drove off, police say. The Thunderbird limped a few hundred yards before the couple switched seats. 

"She jumps in the back seat and he moves over," Dunick said. "It was like the old comedy bit, 'Who's on first?'"

But the attempt to claim that Judy, not Barnes, was driving was also doomed. Judy had visible burns on his chest he claimed came from the exploding airbag, but only the passenger side airbag deployed, according to the police report. So Dunick charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of an accident with injuries and driving with no insurance. Judy was not charged.

According to the arrest affidavit, the trooper asked her afterward why she didn't hit the brakes when she saw the SUV. She answered bluntly, "I told you, I was shaving."

"If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it," Trooper Dunick related. "About 10 years ago, I stopped a guy in the exact same spot... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it."