Brody's Scribbles... Another Entry from the Land Down Under

By Brody Levesque (Washington DC) Oct 7 | For years I have had many good friends in the Land Down Under, aka Oz, Aussieland, or just plain ole Australia. Personally I love the place and all of its people. There is, without doubt, a uniqueness to Oz that sets it apart from any other English speaking former part of the great British Empire. Most notably, the laconic dry wit and delivery of their opinions by its residents.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of running the interview I conducted with Shem Bennett, an up and coming politician and activist. Today, I am going to continue with a guest columnist from Australia's Sydney Star-Observer Newspaper; Phil Scot, whose writings sometime amuse, inflame, or cause one to drop one's cuppa over something he's opined on. Oh, and for my American audience, a 'cuppa' is Oz speak for a cup of tea. (Or in the case of my dear friend friend John Silby, from Victoria, 'Dilmah.')

Here's Phil's column on a subject that quite frankly needs a tremendous amount more exposure and discussion in the greater LGBT community. I have added the comments that appeared afterwards as those reflect a good deal of the opinions that I have heard from others as of late.

On Bisexuality

Phil Scott * Photo By Sydney Star Observer

 

By Phil Scott (Sydney,Australia) Oct 6 | A month ago I got into an online debate over one of my columns. I wrote about teenagers’ fluid sexuality and suggested that in their case “bi is the new closet”.
I thought someone might argue with me. Teens have a strong natural sex drive, so why should they restrict it? As long as they avoid things like disease and unwanted pregnancy, what’s the harm? That’s what I expected to hear.
But it wasn’t pro-teens who attacked me. It was two members of the bisexual community.
My critics put forward compelling arguments, such as “Phil, Phil, Phil” and “You’re an idiot”. Saying your opponent’s name three times overrides everything else in an argument.
Nevertheless, their comments started me thinking.
Like many gay men, my journey to self-acceptance and honesty was difficult. I worried about hurting loved ones, losing friends and so on.
At the time I thought bisexuals had it easy, sidestepping the question of sexual preference to avoid all that anxiety. Here was I, battling to define myself, while for them it wasn’t even a question. I thought they were cheating by having ‘a bob each way’.
Now that opinion sounds a little, well, idiotic. Bisexuality might not be so easy after all. Bisexuals invite the suspicion of both straight and gay communities, and they don’t just come out once — it’s more like a Groundhog Day situation, every time they change over.
Consider the attitudes around sexuality generally. How many stupid restrictions are placed on our sexual behaviour? There are a million rules governing what our sexual partners should look like, how we should approach them, when we can or can’t have sex, what the sex has to be like… an endless series of regulations that we blindly accept. Isn’t there something to be said for throwing away all these rules of engagement and letting your heart make up its own mind? Saying to yourself, “I’m going to fall in love and I don’t give a shit about my lover’s hairstyle, or lifestyle, or what’s between their legs. I’ll deal with that when I get there.”
It feels like a good time for this out-and-proud gay man to let go of a few old prejudices.

1. JohnLindsay said,
   October 7th, 2009 @ 6:23 am Dear Phil
   What’s with this “I’m going to fall in love” rule that you are espousing? What is this “lover” in the singular rule that you are suggesting? Is monogamy the new straight?
   If you are against rules why not polyamorous for the promiscuous or Polygamy for straight males and polyandry for the gay males?
   
2. Emma said,
   October 7th, 2009 @ 12:16 pm Hi Phil
   Thank you for admitting to finally thinking about dropping some of the prejudices. As a bisexual who has had to deal with members of the gay community hate me for being Bi, I appreciate it. Also not to call you an idiot, but I think your idea that you said was idiotic, was idiotic, we bisexuals don’t exactly have it easier because we can love both sexes. When I was coming to terms with my sexuality, I would have loved to be gay, as that way even though it was difficult, there was an obvious gay movement, as for Bisexuality, well I had never heard of it, it was just confusing. Thank you again for being an accepting person.
   
3. Max the Communist said,
   October 7th, 2009 @ 12:47 pm
   Holy cow! I never saw this coming.
   
   
   
   I must admit to my own demeaning address of Phil in the past. Phil, you are a big man to admit to your previous prejudices. I retract my insults forthwith and apologize.
   
   As for throwing away all rules of engagement, let me note that that is not bisexuality or pansexuality either. Rules that observe a partners boundaries, that encourage respectful and compassionate engagement, rules that honor living with integrity–whatever one’s sexual orientation or gender identity–these are the rules we need for our well-being and survival.
   
   As for JohnLindsay, both monogamy and polyamory can be engaged in responsibly, by people of whatever sexual orientation or gender identity. Polyamory is not promiscuity.
   
   This made my day. Thanks, Phil