From Matt's Mom, an important message for all of us!

President Barack Obama meets with Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard, in the Oval Office Wednesday, May 20, 2009. (Official White House photo by Pete Souza)

An invitation to the White House is an extraordinary experience. I had no expectations of what such an invitation may ultimately mean to the work that we have all been engaged in for many years. I've learned that what you want to happen rarely happens in the way you have envisioned it. It seems things happen in their own good time - organically - when preparedness meets opportunity. That is how I see the potential of the Obama administration.

We live in a different America now. The years of disappointment and heartache with the Clinton administration's legacy of DOMA and Don't Ask Don't Tell as well as its failure to get hate crime legislation through Congress, only to be followed by the blatantly anti-gay environment of the very long eight years of the Bush/Cheney administration, which is now our past, not our present, nor our future. We may not be able to quantify it yet - but a brand new day is coming for the GLBT community and their friends and families who love and support them.

I think we need to acknowledge the bigger picture and not lose our faith in what can be achieved now that wide support exists in Congress, the White House and the public at large for the realization of equal rights for all Americans. Perhaps we are impatient for our issues to be resolved because we've been denied them so long - or maybe because it seems like President Obama has been in office longer than he actually has because of the long campaign/election cycle and the immediate need of his participation in the Presidential role in addressing the economic crisis before he was inaugurated and truly the President. We so desperately need him to make things right - it feels like there has been enough time for that to happen. In reality he's only been in office four months. He campaigned for equality for all Americans. It will happen; but he doesn't work in a vacuum. He still needs our support and assistance. Occasionally, we may feel like our representatives aren't in Washington to work for us - their constituents. They make us feel like we work for them. We need to continue reminding them that we helped elect them and now we want them to act on our behalf. You must be part of the process. Ask your representatives to speak with and work with Congressional leadership to recognize our rights.

The process is like a dance not a checklist - a dance card, which is already filled in. We need to allow time for negotiation and nuance. Our issues are not the only guests at the party either. Everyone wants something, needs something. While it is good to keep reminding our leaders we are here, it is not beneficial to have unrealistic expectations. Should there be a timeline? Yes - but it must be manageable. We can do this but it is not, going to just happen. We have our best chance now, with the key elements in place, now we must be smart about how we are to proceed.